Let's Talk About Equality
It was a pretty wild one last night, at least I assume from the blasting music that lasted past the early hours. The activity center next door was host to a wedding! Guests began showing up at the dormitory entrance asking me (I assume) where the wedding was. Besides being a filing cabinet for people with connection to Baçeşehir U who're out of a place to sleep, this facility has some tennis courts, grass, waiters, and a pool that the surrounding community plays in during the day, bless them. And last night a couple decided they wanted to be hitched, pool-side. Well, it was just the reception I think, though the whole affair might be rolled into one super party out here. I will be attending a Kurdish wedding when I'm out in Batman, so at least we'll see how it's done out that way.
But this lazy summer, post-wedding Sunday afternoon I've got other things on my mind. Those things that everyone just says, "Well that's how things are." I mean gender inequality, and people's apathy towards it. Looking around myself I notice these dormitories post a curfew, in your rooms, light out kind of curfew. And it only applies to the girls in the dormitory ( which is why it's posted at entrance of the Kız instead of Erkek hall) The other university I visited while in North Cyprus had the same issue. They can't tell all the 17-19 year olds what to do, just the girls.
There are also the little taboos that only apply to women, no smoking while walking, no leaving your home with wet hair. (implies you're a prostitute, and that you've just been making it.) Or the staggering percentage of Turkish men (80% was the number I heard) who feel it's their right to beat a wife or daughter who misbehaves. It's really frustrating to hear the excuses given of how that's just how society works. So remember, when falling back on approval from ages past, no matter what your actions, they aren't excused or respectable.
To clarify, it's not an Islam thing here. Turkey can hardly be called a religious place, the spectaular mosques are all empty. It's just people are very used to a chauvinistic system. Remember, American women couldn't vote until a mere 86 years ago and not after a lot of effort to change the "way things are."
But hey, it's a nice day, got a nice cool breeze today. Tomorrow I'll be back at the prep school, the cafe is a deliciously cool two floors underground and comes with free food and internet. Combine that with a lack of students and it's a little slice of paradise.
But this lazy summer, post-wedding Sunday afternoon I've got other things on my mind. Those things that everyone just says, "Well that's how things are." I mean gender inequality, and people's apathy towards it. Looking around myself I notice these dormitories post a curfew, in your rooms, light out kind of curfew. And it only applies to the girls in the dormitory ( which is why it's posted at entrance of the Kız instead of Erkek hall) The other university I visited while in North Cyprus had the same issue. They can't tell all the 17-19 year olds what to do, just the girls.
There are also the little taboos that only apply to women, no smoking while walking, no leaving your home with wet hair. (implies you're a prostitute, and that you've just been making it.) Or the staggering percentage of Turkish men (80% was the number I heard) who feel it's their right to beat a wife or daughter who misbehaves. It's really frustrating to hear the excuses given of how that's just how society works. So remember, when falling back on approval from ages past, no matter what your actions, they aren't excused or respectable.
To clarify, it's not an Islam thing here. Turkey can hardly be called a religious place, the spectaular mosques are all empty. It's just people are very used to a chauvinistic system. Remember, American women couldn't vote until a mere 86 years ago and not after a lot of effort to change the "way things are."
But hey, it's a nice day, got a nice cool breeze today. Tomorrow I'll be back at the prep school, the cafe is a deliciously cool two floors underground and comes with free food and internet. Combine that with a lack of students and it's a little slice of paradise.
posted by Alex Gray at 13:18
4 Comments:
I think you're generalizing a lot, I can give thousands of counter examples to your generalizations. For instance, this wet-hair-issue: having quite long, curly hair that doesn't dry easily, being too lazy so not even trying to dry it, hating hair dryers, thus I have been going out with wet hair always for at least 10 years and never heard wet hair implies being a prostitute. The same goes for cigarette-I smoke on the street (even to my surprise people in a conservative Central Anatolian town didn't mind me smoking during Ramadan, I was ready for some negative attitude, but hey, I received none). From where I stand it is very hard to believe 80% Turkish men beat their wives/daughters. But as I said that's the scene from where I stand, i.e. my generalizations depending upon my experiences, and they can be as wrong as your generalizations!
The fascinating thing about Turkey is that anything can change due to changes in your perspectives! (which also goes for wedding customs-weddings can be very different even in the two villages side by side (of course there is always a "family resemblence" Tribute to Wittgenstein)) so keep this in mind before labelling the wedding you'll see in Batman as "the traditional Kurdish wedding").
And the girls residing in those dorms are also guilty, they are above 18 and let others to tell them what time they'll be in the dorm???
And nothing can excuse the 'right' to subject women to violence.
Maybe I'm just getting onto one of these kicks or living on the wrong side of Istanbul. I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly functional marriages based on a mutual understanding and respect in Turkey.
But forced suicides to circumvent laws designed to curb honor killings? No, this isn't happening in Istanbul, it's in the town I'm going to tomorrow. The other articles under "See Also:" are worth a read too.
Turkey still has much to do before it can start calling itself equal. And the abstraction I take from this; traditions that justifies violence against others have no place in civil society and furthermore defending them in the name of cultural identity is actually more harmful to that culture.
In order to avoid any misunderstanding I must say: in my previous coment I had not intended to excuse or extenuate Turkey, Turkish society, Turkish men, etc. I blame traditions which justify violence against others, I blame the ones who appeals to those traditions when something they don't like happen, I blame the ones who doesn't defy such traditions no matter how small or big the issue is. That's why I was expecting those students who reside in those dorms you mentioned to revolt against the stupid rule that tells them at what time they should be inside the dorm! They have the liberty to decide at what time they'd be back-either at 7pm in the evening or 4am in the morning, but that's not my point. My point is: if they let someone to tell them at what time they'll be in the dorm, next time some other may decide they deserve a good beating or they have no the right to live because they 'dishonor'.
I can consult you on this question. Together we can find the decision.
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